Now that I’m a quarter of the way to finishing my high school education, the feeling of uncertainty grows. Every day I wake up, go to school, come home and sleep. If I miss one of those things, my future may depend in it. What really scares me is the prospect of growing up. Having my own home and paying for everything I purchase will be a whole new leaf for me. My parents, wonderful people that they are, have supported me financially most of my adolescent life. Thus, the thought of being able to support myself is nothing short of daunting. If I mess up in college, what will become of me and my income? The real question is, what could I do that would mess all that up? Morality and sense. Those are the only things stopping me from doing anything. For example, I could kill someone. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t kill someone because of what I believe and what I think is right. I pity those who haven’t had a chance to differentiate between those.
Nevertheless, I’m scared of the future being darker than once believed. What can I do to make it light?
It’s always bothersome when the efforts of one person are not reciprocated with the other members of the group. I got accepted into All-State Choir this year and our entire quartet (soprano, alto, tenor, bass) has to work on each piece on our own time. I feel completely ready but I feel as though I put a lot of effort in while the others don’t. I know it sounds boastful but I don’t want to be put on probation. I love the people I am with, I just hope this all works out. No matter what I will have a chance to see some old friends from across the state. Music is a medium in which we can portray some of our deepest emotions and I am proud to be a part of a choir that’s 1,000 strong.
Thinking about the prospect of college makes me throw up a little. But when I think about the future, it helps for me to makes lists. I’m a list person. So, to help with my college-xiety, I’ll make a list of things I hope to purchase before entering the threshold of an academic institution (most likely in Minnesota) next fall. That being said, I don’t have any idea of what would be the best purchases would be for my money. I would love to hear your thoughts, recommendations, and experiences because I’m freaking out a little.
Here is what I would like to buy before I go to college: